There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
