Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
