Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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