you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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