barbara walters just said penis...
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I licked your asshole in confidence.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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