I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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