I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
