He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
