wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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