i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
