do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
