And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
