He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
