I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Barsexuality is the new black.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
