the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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