Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
