the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
