oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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