it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
