she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
