I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
