the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
