Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
