So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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