I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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