just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
