We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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