My room smells like vodka and shame
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
