I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
