You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
