He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
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