proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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