did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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