Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
