I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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