I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
