i already hear my dad disowning me
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I love having hate sex.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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