He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
