Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
whose parrot is this?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
