Your face is a jimmy john
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
