I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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