My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
