mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
