i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Randomize
