found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
