Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
