Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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