so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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