Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
