Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
